Forgiving God
by Malfeus
Summary: Season 7 Buffy has been thrown out of her house, what stands in her future
1. Default Chapter

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Graffiti in downtown Sherbrooke:

"I try to forgive God"

Did I feel that hurt when the house fell down on us? I can't remember, it feels so far away now, not of this lifetime. My mind is all tangled up, I can't think straight. Only one thing running around in my mind; now it can stop, now I can stop at last.

I can't feel anything but pain right now which is good cause I don't think I' be ready to deal right now. My mind as started some deep thinking and I'm not sure I like where that is going. I've been walking around for a couple of hours, always keeping myself from running back to them for comfort or strength. I keep thinking do I need another shirt? Should I just drop by to get my purse or my bag of weapons? My brain is trying to find some way to send me back there. But I'm not going back, that life is over now, I know that.

They were all against me. All. Some with hate, some with love but all a united front. Hate in Giles eyes for my treason, for my choosing Spike over him. Hate from the SIT that love Faith, that find in her a kindred spirit. Love from my friends that didn't want me to make a mistake that could cost them the world.

I think I knew, on some level, all along. Once passed the first surprise, even while I protested I knew they were right. I saw them fight outside the Bronze, they were a group, they stood together against the enemy. They don't need a leader to guide them, they just needed to believe and be needed. Tonight, I saw the same thing, they were united, and I was the enemy.

They were right, not in the details but in the overall picture. This is not my fight anymore. I've always fought alone, that was my duty. Theirs is to be a group, the new and improved Scoobies, now Buffy free.

I know they're right. I just don't know what I'm supposed to be now. I don't think that I'm THE slayer anymore.

I'm leaving the house. I think I'm also leaving my life behind. What could I have to say to them? They don't need me anymore; I'm not sure they really ever did. I'm not an indian, I wasn't a chief. I was a lousy mother, not that good a counsellor either.

I'm only a fighter, a killer.

I'm scared. I know now that all may not end well. I used to be sure that we'd prevail. Now I'm just not sure we're gonna win. Or more precisely that they are gonna win. Oh, it's not because I'm not with them anymore; I'm not that much of a bitch. It's just that before, I felt like the world was still in balance. But I've felt the wind turning and I still got chills running up my spine.

But there's one good thing in this all, now I'm certain that I need Spike. I never was so sure of something in my life. I need him by my side. I'm so not ready to be in the world without him. And I need to tell him, to tell him that I love him. 

So I think I'll stick around for a couple of days maybe, just long enough to talk to him again. There's so much I need to tell him, so much that I need forgiveness for. I'm not sure I'll be able to tell him everything but I know I'm willing to try.

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I knew something was wrong even before I left. I thought that maybe they wanted to kill me again but then Giles sent Andrew with me. Even if he is a bastard he wouldn't put him willingly in harms way, he's human after all even if he is annoying. 

It had to be something else. But nothing happened at the old mission. As soon as I saw their faces when we came back, I knew something had happened to her. Most of them wouldn't look me in the eyes and the others were sending hate vibes in the air. It was clear that I was not wanted here. So hence my first question:

- Where is she?

And my second, since no one answered me.

- What did you do to Buffy?

Willow shot Giles a sideways glance. I saw Faith casually reach for the stake that was hidden in the back of her jeans. Wise girl. I had a feeling that this nice chat wouldn't go smoothly.

- We thought it best and she agreed that for now she should stay away. Only for a little while. I, that is we think that her judgement might be clouded by stress and maybe tiredness. So she'll take a break for know.

- And she agreed to this, I asked.

- Well, yeah, pretty much.

- Well yeah, pretty much, I mocked Red. As in you didn't give her a chance so she had to leave, you bloody ungrateful idiots.

- Hey back off bleach head. Leave her alone.

- You Kennedy shut up. I have no patience with you. You're a selfish brat who can't wait for Buffy to die so you can be the next slayer. You're a pushy broad who thinks being gay is a cool trend. See how much I respect your warnings. I can't believe this. I know you don't like me Watcher, but you supported this whole mutiny? She's finally thinking for herself instead of always asking your opinion, like you trained her to do. She's the general but you can't stand that she makes her own decisions. I can't believe you let your jealousy cloud your judgement like this.

For god's sake, when as she led you astray? The newbies I can understand their attitudes. They're scared, they know now that they could die and they haven't been given much choice in all this. They just found out what this is all about. Still there's a few that need attitude adjustment. They don't think she's a good leader, but maybe they're not good followers. Bitching about the brand of cereals they are eating instead of just remembering that they are still alive to eat them.

They don't know her like we do. They don't know that when it was important she was there, that she never ran. She never ran from an apocalypse. She might have run when her life went to hell and that she knew that no one would understand her pain at having sent not Angelus to Hell, but Angel, her true love. Which she had to do because some real friend thought that if he didn't tell her that they were recursing him with a soul he would finally be rid of Angel and maybe get a shot at Buffy himself. Who knows?

How many of you could have sent your love to Hell with a kiss? How many would have jumped to your death to save your sister's life? How many would have survived being torn from Heaven for some selfish friends who couldn't let go?

The teen squad doesn't know that, but the Scoobies do. You're still pissed that she didn't kill Angelus when you wanted her to. But he's a Champion, did you ever think that maybe someone didn't want him dead? And don't you think that she'd stake me in a moment if she'd thought that it was needed. I know that. You should also know that.

And you Faith, you want a shot at redemption? Think a little less about yourself for once. There is a greater picture here, we might not be able to see it yet, but it's there.

- You're one to talk. Blondie, once again you're out of line. And your precious Buffy won't be there to protect you.

- And you are what, going to take me down? Well bring it own 2, I'm still gonna kick your ass.

I would have killed her right there; I was so pissed off. I don't think Buffy would have liked that much though, so I decided that after I taught slayer number 2 a quick lesson I'd get the hell away from this loser crowd.

They where all standing there, not saying a word. Some where looking guilty, some bored but in all that I said no one took her defence, no one sided with me. They had all judged Buffy and kicked her out of her destiny. Nice.


	2. Forgiving God Chapter 2

I know that I follow the episodes mostly as is but bare with me, everything is about to change. I have couple of chaps in advance but since I write every thing by hand I still need the time to type it down, I am an old fashion gal that way.

I finally got tired of walking around. There wasn't a soul left in Sunnydale it seemed. More precisely there wasn't a being with or without a soul to be found around town.

Even the evil element of this town had decided that maybe it was time for a vacation as far away as possible from the Hellmouth. We were nearing the showdown, you could feel it in the air.

It was funny that I had reached a sense of peace that I hadn't felt since… well I can't remember when. I don't know if I ever felt this way. May be it's not peace, I don't think it was like this in Heaven. It felt more like a lack of feelings. Right now I just don't care and I don't want to care about anything until I get some sleep. Tomorrow will be here soon enough to face up to the rest of my life.

I don't think anyone would mind if I did a little breaking and entering. I can't see myself sleeping in the park and the crypt thing really isn't me, even if Spike's was cozy. The really really dead don't need mattresses but Buffy does. 

I never thought I'd want to see Spike this badly, only to talk. God I'm such a jerk. Again I need him to make me feel better, this time in a not so psychotic way though. I hope I get to talk to him again, even if it's only to apologise.

I choose a house at random, wondering what I'll find inside. I feel a small thrill as I enter the unlocked house. Someone must be in a hurry to leave town.

I wonder about the people that lived here. This curiosity feels odd as it is the first thing I felt clearly today since… well you know when.

I go through the rooms on the first floor. Living room, dining room, and a small office. I'm looking for the kitchen, thinking a small snack will help me sleep.

As I push the door that connects the dining room with the kitchen I come face to face with the barrel of a shotgun. Ah, so there is still a soul in town, and it's probably 100% human cause I don't have the tingles. Also guns? Really not a demon thing, it's way eviller than they are.

- Don't move. I don't know what you are but I don't care, I can still shoot you dead.

He's shaking. I can also see bags under his eyes. And I can also see literal ones near the door behind him.

- I only want to get my things and leave. After that you can do whatever you want with this house, I'm not coming back to this Hellhole.

Smart move sir; you'll live a longer life I bet.

- I don't know about that but at least it's gonna be a natural one. I can still see my baby girl sometimes. She still looks 10 years old, with her braids. But it's been almost 12 years since they took her. At least we buried her properly, we know that she's dead. Well I knew she was dead. Her mom just got tired and missed her too much. At least they're together now.

- I won't hurt you. There's been already too much blood spilled in this town. I hope you find somewhere nice to live.

The man took a good look at me as if seeing me for the first time.

- I've seen you around town I think. You're the one they speak about, aren't you? You're the one that fights back

Well what do you know; the townsfolk aren't so blind after all. Who would have thought.

- I try to; it's what I do.

Miss, maybe you should get out of Dodge too. Something big is coming and maybe it's too big for you too. This place isn't worth your life. You could go somewhere quieter and find yourself a nice boyfriend, or girlfriend, and try to forget this place.

- Thank you for the thought, but unlike you I don't really have a choice. My hands are kind of tied.

He gave me a look like he didn't really believe me and that maybe I was crazy to still be here.

I watched him leave the house, put his bags in the car and drive away, his words still playing in my mind.

- If you see my wife and my girl, would you… I know you do those things, I never was able to do it. They're too close to me still.

I nodded.

- I'll put them to rest if I see them, don't worry. Take care of yourself, live a good life for those who can't.


	3. The sun always shines on tv

Chapter 3

As I left the house I felt at once resolve and longing. With some simple words Spike had given me back my strength and my confidence. I'll always wonder about the power of his belief in me.

I don't really feel worthy of it now to tell the truth. I've realised a couple of things tonight. No, that not true, I had a bloody epiphany as Spike would say. As he stood before me, giving all that he could to cheer me up, to rebuild my confidence in myself, I saw him more clearly than I ever did in all the time that I knew him. I saw his newfound sensibility brought out by the soul or maybe just by the excuse of the soul. I've spent a couple of years waving his lack of soul as an excuse to not think about him, not to give him another thought. It's been my wall behind which I kept hidden. I couldn't think about him in any other way because if I had, then what would Angelus have meant to me. Because in the end, only the soul kept him in the Light. He would never have got a soul for me or for any one else for that matter and we were supposed to be soulmates… But Spike, Spike didn't want to hurt me again. In his own selfless manner he gave up what was the remnant of his demon a most powerful leash. Even now I feel overwhelmed by what he did. I don't know how he can have so much light inside himself and I don't believe the soul brought that to Spike. I've seen the light even deep inside, when he thought no one could see him. I saw the determination to save Dawn when Glory had him at his fingertips. I don't know what's a soul anymore.

Tonight he found me a simple shell of myself. I knew when I saw his deep blue eyes that he wouldn't leave my side until he had brought me back to myself. I knew he could do it too, the job was already half done by his presence. He soothed me with his quirky smile, his no nonsense attitude. Tonight I saw the warrior that can't accept defeat, that can't stand the sight of anyone down. I saw the man in him, the man that loves me.

I came face to face with a lot of truth tonight, a lot of things I was hiding from myself. The first was that I was really glad that Spike came for me. No one of my friends, if I still have some left, would have pleased me in coming after me than him. There really was no other choice.

Another surprising thing was that I'd always know and believed in his love. I might have tried to hide it from myself but I couldn't fool him. I've always trusted him, even when I didn't trust myself. I let him lead me to the Dark side, trusting him to keep me safe in the end. Safe from myself mostly.

I know that I had to be there to understand him, I had to go in the dark to finally see the light. It's always the darkest before morning as they say. I have a better idea about myself, about the slayer in me. I don't fight it as much anymore, we came to an understanding. I have this idea that maybe it's not that different as to what a more awoken vampire may endure. I don't have the same blood lust that they have yet I have one. I have my violent streak that helps me do my job.

He knew it, knew what I didn't want to tell him. He knew what I was discovering, knew me better than I did. Spike knew that I truly had feelings for him, even that I'm scared to tell him… to finally tell him that I love him. I felt it so clearly when I woke up this morning, still nestled in his arms.

Even after all the times we had sex this was new for us. I've never let myself fall asleep in his arms, always running at the first chance I had. I couldn't stand his tenderness towards me, I felt sick and I couldn't understand why he could be so nice to me after all that I did to him even after all that I did to him. I just wanted him to hate me like I hated myself. Maybe I've grown up, maybe I like myself a whole lot more now because this was so good, like Cherry Garcia good. This was special; I had never seen him asleep. He seemed at peace, a small smile lingering on his lips.

He looked like a kid, the line on his face softening as we lay next to each other, quietly for once. At that moment, that exact moment I know the whole of my love for him, finally. I placed a small kiss on his soft platinum hair, trying not to wake him as I got up.

I would be coming back to this; this was my goal, my reward. Apocalypse be damned, I would win this thing, I needed to if I wanted to get back to the warmth of his arms. He had given me this focus for my life; I owed him the world.

It's funny how simpler it is to be Buffy the vampire slayer than the human Buffy. Here I am leaving the only peace I've had for a good long while to go fight the Spawns of Hell.

I don't even think about the fight, I know I'm gonna win. Loosing is not even in the equation. I feel the adrenaline rush through my system, I feel the Slayer stir somewhere, she knows the fight is coming. Pain and tiredness melt away, leaving an electric-like sensation. Everything around me is sharper and clearer, more there. I can almost feel time slowing down, almost stopping. Everything I do is a series of small controlled movement. Everything is important.

I run through everything Spike told me about his meeting with the priest. I only feel a warm feeling when I think of him; nothing deeper goes through the wall surrounding my warrior inside. No thoughts to disturb me, only the strength of his love for me piercing through and giving me more power.

This is the final lesson I've learned in my slayerhood. There is no Buffy Cali girl; there is no Buffy the vampire slayer. There are no separate entities; I've always been both. Kendra was a slayer, so is Faith. They have no balance, they are the extremes. I am the Slayer, I'm still Buffy. I am what I am.

Maybe this is what Spike always understood about me. Because even though his demon is ever present he always had his human self in the equation. It might not be the original William; he might have toughened up at the contact of his demon counterpart. And maybe this is why Angelus is so different than Angel, and so is Faith. Balance, simple equilibrium.

And you know what? With all these deep thoughts I'm already back at the vineyard.

This is my normal life. I kill evil things that need killing. I fight the good fight day in, day out. And I win, it's what I do.

I woke up because there was something missing. Where she should have been, by my side, there was only a lingering trace of warmth on the sheets. She'd left. Again. It was hard not to be hurt by this.

It was still daylight, I couldn't follow. Whether she did it knowingly or not she had shut me out again. Even if I cry high and low that I don't wait for anything in return, I'm still a bloody romantic lying trough my teeth.

I lay a hand where she had let me hold her. Whatever I might feel this morning the memory of last night is burning bright in my mind and in my heart.

They had broken her, what Glory or even the First hadn't been able to do her best friends did with simple ease. I wanted to go back and smack them each and everyone. If I still had the chip I would have felt the pain right now. I didn't go back; they're not worth it. She needed me right now.

She said she didn't want to talk, yeah sure. She wouldn't talk but I would. She needed to be reassured, to be told that someone still believed in her, loved her and trusted her with his life. She didn't force me to leave because she knew that I would be by her side forever. I even made her smile and that smile was worth all my unlife.

So when she asked me to simply hold her, let me put it this way: if I had a happiness clause on my soul it would have gone bye-bye. And by the way this does not in anyway let me be near the same as Angelus, or Angel. I don't need the freaking soul to be nice to people. And I have nicer hair.

What's this? On the pillow, she left a note. Six words, something simple. But it will always mean the world to me.

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Thank you,

I love you.

Buffy.


	4. Calm before the storm

Well I've update! I have a lot more coming up for this story. I'm getting to the uncharted territory. If you read it just post a small review, a couple of words do nicely. I'm hoping that someone reads it and enjoys it at least a little. So be kind review, I won't stop writing if you don't but it gives the writes a little push and a pat on the back.

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It was like watching ballet. I had forgotten what a pleasure it was to simply watch her move. There was a flow, a rhythm to each movement. She was in control of the fight even when her adversary seemed stronger. She had a small smile on her lips, as if to tease her opponent. She knew she would win. She exuded confidence and power, glowing in the dark underground cellar like a midnight sun. If I really was a Champion, she must be a goddess for I would always be at her feet, in awe.

I still felt a twinge in my heart when she got hit. To see her sailing across the room, hitting the wall hard, made me want to join in and help her. But I didn't. I recognised the lingering remains of what used to be. It had been a long while since I felt a connection, or maybe more like let myself feel the connection. Coming here had rekindled something I thought was long past. Never dead but maybe put to rest.

We could have continued being as we were each on our side with friends and family. We knew we had each other's back if push came to shove. I think it's time now.

They gave me the necklace to bring the power to Buffy. They told me that a Champion would make the difference in this battle. As always, without a thought I left to help her. Well that's not true. I had a thought. If They came to me with this mission then maybe, just maybe it was a push in the direction of the prophecy. Just maybe, I could always pray.

I was still waiting for the fight to end, having no doubt as to the outcome of the battle. I saw her stop, like she was hesitating. She stumbled. The preacher was coming for her; she wouldn't have time to regroup. I jumped in, just stalling to give her the time to recuperate. I teased him, just wanting to do a nya nya nya, told you so at the First Evil's face. It's childish but so pleasing. She was ready, I took a bow. It was her fight to finish.

As quickly as it had started it was over. The preacher lay quartered on the dusty floor, the air shimmering with released magikal energies. And there she was, humanity's protector, with a huge battle axe.

She was still beautiful, more seasoned, less naive. With a little bit more bite. We looked into each other's eyes still feeling a connection. I still wanted to kiss her, still wanted to mean something to her. I leaned forward, all thoughts of everything else fleeing my mind. The human (and demonic) mind finds it easy to shut down in face of some passion.

It was passionate but… But as soon as it had started it was clear that there was nothing there to feed the fire. Maybe no more than some post fighting lust, an adrenaline rush.

We smiled at each other, a little awkwardly, maybe a little bit ashamed. She was blushing. She spoke first.

" What are you doing here?"

To the point, I had to smile.

"Nice to see you too."

She smiled.

"I thought it was implied with the tongue thing and the kissing."

"Well yeah, sorry about that. It's just, I don't know, old habits I guess?"

" Still, timely visit. And again, what are you doing here?"

"Heard you were having yourself an apocalypse again. Do you count them? Do you keep records?"

"I've lost count around the sixth. The first one was like "we are all going to die" now it more like do I have time to go get my hair done before. They seem to be getting stronger and happening more often. They could give us a calendar, it really would be useful, and I could arrange my work schedule around them, less absentee time for Buffy. It's a wonder I have time for anything else."

"Do you, I mean have time?"

"No, not really for the last couple of years. It's more like fanciful delusions. I miss the small time vampire nest, humans with illusions of grandeur and the rest. Now it's more like Gods, prime evils or Dark Willow."

"Dark…?

"You should have been here, that was oodles of fun. But you know it's no big. We've learned a long time ago to have fun when we could."

"I hear you. Now I come to you today bearing gifts"

I took out the necklace from an inside pocket.

"Thank you but you know I have nothing that goes with that."

I had to smile at that, the world might be ending but she'd still quip.

"As a matter of fact, it's not really for you to wear. Someone with deep connections gave it to me. She said that it had the power to help in your fight. It is to replace the power that was offered but denied. That part I didn't understand. "

"I do, never mind that. So I have to wear it and it'll give me strength?"

"Not exactly. The medallion is to be worn by a Champion of Light, not by the Slayer."

"And you're…"

"Yeah, I'm a Champion. From what we've read in the Prophecies, it could explain why I came back from Hell also why I'm the only vampire with a soul."

Buffy cough, turning from me.

"What?"

"Well, you see, you're not the only vampire with a soul anymore."

"What? Who?"

Who could it be, what vampire would have been cursed as I was… Buffy knew the vampire, it was clear. Who could…? No. Not him. Really no fucking way. Now that I thought about it I could smell him around the cave.

"You can't mean Spike? Spike of the bloody bleached hair and the so short attention span?"

"Yes Spike."

"Who did he piss to be cursed that way?"

" He wasn't cursed. Spike earned his soul of his own free will. No one knew about it until he came back from Africa."

"I can't believe it. William the bloody excuse for a grandchilde."

"Could you be anymore childish?"

"You work for years to earn your salvation, you have to sacrifice yourself day in day out and that goofball goes and gets himself one. Why did he do it, to impress you?"

"I don't have to justify him to you. He's earned my respect with his soul, he's earned much more than that without it."

"Just wait till the chip stops functioning, then we'll see his true nature."

"You know for a Champion you are bloody closed minded."

Bloody closed minded? He really had messed Buffy up.

" _I_ saw what he could do without his chip or haven't you been listening. _I_ had the army remove it. _I _trust him with my sister's and my life."

This was serious. What was happening here? I came in thinking… Well I don't know what I was thinking, maybe I was rushing head first to impress a girl also. But I'm still a Champion; I stick to what I have to do. I can't wrap my mind around the thought of Spike being a Champion. But I could have more problems with the thoughts of the two of them together.

"Are you two…"

"Are we what? Not that it's any of your business."

"Do you love him?"

I dreaded the answer but there was something going on between the two of them and except for Harmony Spike had always been one to get deep into a relationship.

"I haven't told him yet, but I do."

"Since when?"

" Myself for a lot longer then I would confess. Him a couple of years probably. He told me in his special way, shackles and Dru at the end of a stake. I just couldn't believe him then, I hadn't even thought about it."

"But Buffy, you are worth so much more than him, you deserve so much better."

" I knew you'd say that, I used to think that way too. But I'm not so much of a white hat myself anymore. I grew up a lot the last couple of years and you know what? There's a lot more grey and off white areas than there used to be. You have no idea what he went through, with and without his soul. And me, all soul having put him through the worst of it. He is my Champion; I have no doubt about him. But…"

I knew it, she didn't trust him for this fight, or even better, and she needed me because he wasn't enough.

"But what?"

"But it's not his fight. Nor mine for that matter."

"What?"

"I want you to meet us in front of my house tonight. It's Slayer Central now. Every SIT is bunking there so don't try and get in, you could have a nasty surprise. We'll meet you at my house around seven."

Buffy, I don't understand. We're on the verge of an apocalypse and you say it's not your fight, well whose is it?"

" Not now Angel. I only want to tell it once, so meet us there tonight okay? Everything will be revealed."

She held my hand, gave me a small smile and left.


	5. Men at war

_To cindy who reviewed, I promise to update faster. We're at a turning point in the story, this is where we finally get off from the show. Big thank yous to the people who read this, I'd be interested to know what you think, review please._

Spike

I'm not sulking, really I'm not. I don't do that thing; I'm not Angel, no brooding for me. What I am is pissed off. How dare he? How could he come here and be the bloody knight in bloody shining armour? This is not LA, we run the show around here. When everything seemed to be going better between Buffy and me, he has to show his big ass again in the picture.

Does he do it on purpose or does he really have an eerie sense of timing? Might be the small sojourn in hell that helped things along, he might have brought back some new talent for torturing me.

I know that if I were somewhat rational I would also be blaming Buffy for the small lip tango but... First, I'm love's bitch; I'd have trouble blaming her even if she brought forth the end of the world. Second, he was supposed to be the love of her life, she gets some slack on that account. I might not like it and be violently against it but I can still understand it. The world might end after all. Thirdly, it's was his bloody fault! HE left her when it began to be too tough to bear instead of finding a way to make it work out. He always had to come to her rescue even when she didn't need to be saved. He still thought of her as the young, naive 16-year-old that fell in love with the dark and mysterious stranger. I don't think he can see the power that she holds, the wonderful warrior that she has become. She is in the major leagues now. His playing ground might be LA but hers is the world. If he is a Champion, she's now the commander of his army.

I am jealous of their history; they share something that we will never have. But I don't love the naive bubbly blonde, I love the whole deal. I don't need her to need me, she can save my sorry ass whenever she wants.

I don't know how she feels about him, but I think I can go back to last night's house and wait for her. You know even with Angel here, I think it's the first time I really have a chance with her. I'm hers, I have pledged my life and anything she might need to her. I'll wait for her to come back to me, we'll face this battle together, of that I'm certain.

Angel

She had been with him. She was with Spike. Her hair, her clothes were still reeking of leather and tobacco. Spike of the gem of Amara.

Up to what point had she been with him? Did Angel really want to know? She never was one to sleep around and to be fair never was he. But he didn't want to be fair; he still was trying to understand what had just happened. Buffy didn't want him anymore, she needed him for the fight but that was it. He didn't think she really wanted him here.

She needed Spike, the message had been clear. It irked him to no point. He had never liked him; he had done everything he could to make his unlife miserable from the start. He had wanted to show Dru Spike's weakness at first, to debase in in her eyes. But the more Angel humiliated him, the more she liked his frailty. It had also the effect of reinforcing Spike's mental strength. The Aurelius line had given birth to its share of master vampires and he had pushed him enough to give him the rank of master in his own right. But even then, when he was alone with Dru to build his little kingdom here in Sunnydale, Angel had been able to mess it up.

Dru had always been Angelus' to do as he pleased, with or without his soul. He knew it and had played to it when the soul left him, wanted even more to dangle it in front of Spike's face that he was always second to him. But even then he would try to get back Drusilla's affection, to have his dark goddess's love. He didn't know what had happened to his love for Drusilla , he might have finally found someone that gave him hope of something better. Spike would be faithful to Buffy and everyone he holds in his heart, he had never needed a soul to help him do that.

Angel had to be honest with himself, Spike scared him. Not himself but what he represents. The more he gets to know the range of Spike's emotions, the less Angel trusted himself. The demon was always kept in check; the soul didn't help much for the control. It started with himself first. Spike without the soul is pretty in control of everything if a little impetuous. Angelus in control? Pretty much kills everyone on his eyesight and more. There's not much left of Angel in that situation, not that Angel wasn't a son of a bitch when he was alive.

He knew how Spike would deal with a soul. He wouldn't reflect on his past deeds because he couldn't anything about it. He would tell you that he was a vampire, without remorse. He had to feed to survive so he wouldn't apologise for that. Would the cat be sad for the mouse that he had to catch for his supper? He saw it as simple as that. He was sorry about what he had done but he didn't regret it, he had done it to survive. If he really has a soul he would do something about it now instead of looking to the past. So then without a glance he would do good as simply as he did evil.

Still, he didn't want Spike to have Buffy. But, he didn't want her for himself anymore; he had to be honest about it. If he had to choose, it wouldn't be her anymore. Newsflash even to himself. So why did he care about the why and who? Well big news, he might just be a big jealous, possessive son of a bitch.

It's scary how the more he tried to do what's best, the end result always seems worthy of his alter ego. Maybe Angel never let himself take a deeper look at who he really was because as he grows older it scares him to find out how much like Angelus he truly his. He's still a hardheaded bastard who'll get his way at any cost. Maybe the consequences aren't as bad as when he doesn't have his soul but there's always something that makes people uneasy around him. He can't trust himself to always have control over his reactions. He doesn't have a lot of leeway over his demon, even with the soul. And the animal inside each human can see that.

And something else bothers him, if Spike gives you his word, he'll keep the demon at bay to fulfil his promise, under any circumstances, because he gave his word. And never mind the soul, he was like that as a fledgling. The guy has self control down to an art. No patience but oodles of control. Damn damn damn! Angel so didn't want to be on Spike's side.

He'd like to rant and say _but he's a vampire, he's evil! _On the other hand he never planned to suck the world into hell with everyone still in it. Spike never was one for world domination. He probably would be good for Buffy, faithful and reliable. Like a geyser. He'd follow her to the end of the world and then some more. And all that still with or without the soul.

It took Angel years to be able to coexist with his soul and his demon. But it hasn't been a year yet for William and he's almost back to his old self, maybe with a hint of his human self meshed with the other part but he's basically okay. Angel couldn't accept it, he had been cursed, he suffered for years to try and find a balance. Spike fought for his soul, won it fair and square. Does this mean that maybe Angel was the one who didn't deserve to have a soul?

He might be jealous of Spike's place besides Buffy but he'd have to admit that maybe he'd earned it. He still didn't have to like it. Someday, when the apocalypses die down, they would have a real long talk, Spike and him.


	6. At the edge of the world

Hey what do you know, two chapters in a week whoohoo I'm on a roll. I'll try to be quicker with my updates, I promise. Thanx to GoldenAngl99 for the review, I appreciate.

_Sometime you make me feel_

_Like I'm living at the edge of the world_

_Like I'm living at the edge of the world_

"_it's just the way I smile" you said_

_Plainsong, The Cure_

I had the feeling that he would be waiting for me somewhere. I knew he had been at the Vineyard, I've sensed him back there. Yeah, it's a new slayer perk, I now can sense Spike like I used to do with Angel. So as I walked into the late afternoon, the sun slowly setting fire to the sky, I opened my mind and called after Spike's presence. I was not surprised to find that it was tugging me back to the house were we spent last night.

As I climbed the stairs to the bedroom I had a small smile on my face. For the first time in weeks I had a warm feeling surrounding me, telling me that maybe, just maybe everything might be all right in the end.

- Do you trust me?

- With everything that's left of my life.

- Would you follow me blindly, not knowing what will be in your future?

- I've been doing that for a couple of years now, luv. I even sang it to you, you've got a willing slave.

- I don't need a slave, Spike, but I need you by my side for what I'm about to do. I feel like we're at the edge of the world; I know what I have to do but I'm still looking for the strength to do it.

- What's going on luv? What's happening that's got you all worked up? Is it Angel? Did he come here again to save the day?

I knew he was at the Vineyard! I had to tease my stalkerboy.

- How did you know? Were you following me in the middle of the day?

- You know I'm no good at waiting. I just needed to be there if you had needed my help. I told you I had your back. I just wasn't quick enough, Angel beat me to it. I didn't stay after that, seeing you two together again was a little too much, even for the pathetic guy that I am.

- It's really not what you think? On second thought it's exactly what he came here to do, be the white knight. We did kiss, be we knew there was nothing there anymore. We don't want that anymore, I think we've both moved on finally.

- Is he still here? Did he stay for the apocalypsapalooza or did he go back to LALAland?

- No, he's still here. I asked him to stay. He's part of the final battle, like all of us. But I need to know now if you'll be there for me as you've always been.

- You don't even have to ask, I'll do whatever you need me to do except leave you alone. That I will never do.

He seemed worried with what I was asking, not understanding what was going on. He knew something was bugging me in a major way.

- Slayer, what are you planning to do? You now have your big axe of pain, you can do a quick job of those übervamps. You said you felt the power of the Slayer in it, do you think it's not enough? What's troubling your mind?

I turned to him, smiling slightly. I walk back to him and took his hand.

- You know you're my knight in not so shining armour? Yours has been used and abused but you still try to save me. I love you Spike, whatever might happen to me I want you to be sure of it. I want to apologise for every single thing I did to you and lacked to do. We could be here all night and even then I don't think I would have gone to the bottom of the list of things I have to apologise for. I just want you to be as sure of me as I am of you.

- You're scaring me luv, can't you tell me what's going on?

- Just be ready for anything, Spike. If you want to get some of your personal things before it all comes down, now would be the time. I've asked Angel to meet us in front of the house on Revello Drive in an hour. We're gonna have a final Scooby meeting with everyone. I have information that they need to hear something that they won't find out about otherwise. After that, we'll have to see.


	7. Same deep water as you

_Many thanks and merci beaucoup's to Golden Angl99 and Jane who review. I'm glad that it keeps you guessing. I even took some time from practising piano to put this up._

As we were walking back to my mom's house I just kept feeling wonderment. Everything thing around me felt new, my sense were on over charge. Spike and I were walking hand in hand in comfortable silence, which was definitely a new experience and a nice one at that. It was also in total contrast to our surroundings, we were in the middle of a war zone. There were just some tanks and some army guys missing and we could be in Sarajevo, with nicer climate. Everywhere around us you could see portents of the upcoming battle, houses were burned to the ground, cars had been abandoned in the middle of the street and there was an eerie silence over the town. We saw a couple of vamps that seemed more intent on leaving town than threatening us. There was no sound of fighting, no demon hordes rampaging. Sunnydale was holding its breath.

I told Spike about the war zone, it was giving me the creeps.

It reminds me a bit of London during WWII, everybody's life was put on hold. The day to day activities had to go on, you had to eat but it all took a new meaning. Each mundane thing the people did was a small personal victory over the enemy, they had survived yet another day.

I didn't get often the chance to see a little part of Spike's history, I felt honoured that he was chairing some of it with me. I could relate to what he was talking about, we were all survivors in our little group. Everyday that went by that someone we know didn't die seems like a small miracle to me.

I was unintentionally slowing down as we came to Revello Drive. I stopped, looking at the house. I still thought of it as my mom's house, though it probably was Dawn's house now.

- You don't have to do this Buffy, you don't really have to face them.

- You're sweet Spike but you know I have to do it. They'll need what I have to give them.

- I know, it's my job to try and save you pain and all that jazz, I had to say it. It's in the contract.

I had to smile. And as Frank n Furter would have said, Spike's really good for relieving my tension.

- Peaches is already here. He's waiting on the other side of the street.

- Good. Hey, you never told me why you called him that by the way.

- An old lady who he had seduced into giving him is fortune used to call him that because she said that his butt reminded her of a plump ripe peach. It just stuck in my mind. Plus he was majorly pissed that she had said this in public. The old lady was quite a number. When she saw that we were ripping him off she started some rumours about his sexual preferences. That did it for him. She had pushed him too far.

- I knew it had to be something like that. Let's go meet him, it's time to get this party started.

Angel was waiting out of sight of the others, on the porch of the house on the other side of the street. He wasn't happy to see Spike and me together, he was trying to put up a good front.

- I don't think they know I'm here, he said.

- You're not dust, ergo they don't know you're here, I explained. We've kicked some really tougher butts than yours these days, Peaches. If they had sensed you they would have sent a team. I don't know what status you have with them, you don't have the excuse of my having driven you out of your mind or having been tortured by the First, like Spike.

I could see him getting flustered. He thought he had it worst. I hadn't told him about that part of our relationship.

- I was tortured by the First, remember Xmas snow?

- No you weren't. You were teased. Nothing compares to the full front attack that we were given this year, you'll see. You see dead people and they twist your mind. They always speak a warped truth. You have to be ready for it and not let it bother you much.

- That Xmas I saw some people I had killed in the past. I saw Jenny Calendar. When I was with Giles she would be all over him, running her finger through his hair, laying her head on his shoulder, it was horrible.

- Not to be blunt mate but you had your part of guilt in the equation. Now it's personal. You saw someone that you killed? Dawn saw her mother, the same thing for Woods. Faith saw the Mayor, her father figure. It took the place of a SIT for a couple of days, we never even saw her alive. The First has been building steam since you met and has found new way of torturing us.

- And you Spike, who did It send to you? Did you see your mother too? Or some faceless victims that you don't even have the heart to remember?

- Slayer, we forgot to check if Angel was his old rotten self or the First in his guise. I could always check by putting my fist trough his head. If I go through without splattering the sidewalk then we'll know that the bitchiness comes from the source of all evil. Oh, wait either way that would be the same result.

- I could fell the tension running through Spike's body. I tried to calm him as I lay a soothing hand on his arm.

- Could we stop this pissing contest? What Spike saw is none of your business. We have work to do and all this shit isn't helping us. We have to work together.

There was an awkward silence while Angel took a deep unnecessary breath.

- Yes, I saw my mother. I had forgotten that I had killed her after I had turned her. The First played with that and my newfound soul. It made me into a sleeper agent, to be woken when It would be needing me. It was playing me like a puppet: I broke my strings though, all thanks to the Principal. It went way to far when It used Buffy's image to try and break me. The real Buffy tried for two years to push me off and I didn't let go, did It think It could do the same with me? I won't let anyone hurt Buffy and this counts as a hell of a hurt.

I had never heard him talk about what had happened before I came and rescued him. I understood know why he didn't believe that I was real when I came to get him.

- The worst part is that It always seemed to know the truth you had deep inside your heart, so deep that you don't even want to think about it. It always tells a corrupted truth. He missed on one thing though.

Spike was now looking directly at me, squeezing my hand.

- You came and rescued me.

- Always, I promised him.

Angel was looking annoyed.

- Understand this Angel, You have to have your mind set on not letting the First get to you. Spike withstood hours of tortures in the hands of the Harbingers and the Tarak An. You must also survive at all cost; we need all the people in that house alive, understand? So whatever you still have against Spike is irrelevant, we have to be a united front, got that?

- Yeah, okay.

I raised my eyebrows in doubt. Angel looked embarrassed.

- Yes mam!

- Now, are we ready for the first part of our big showdown?

Spike answered me.

- Buffy, we just have to talk to them, we're not here to fight.

- Believe me, this won't be a smooth ride, this is like facing your parents after a worldwide openhouse. Let's do this than. Angel, give me your cell phone.


	8. Doing the unstuck

_Thanks again for the reviews, I appreciate. The next chapter will have a lot of answers. It might take a little while to post it (not as bad as the first ones, I promise) I've got a lot going on in my life right now. Writing keeps me sane so it should be fast anyway. By the way if anyone wants to comment on my english, go ahead it's not my maternal language and I could use the pointers._

_Again, thank you for reading._

From across the street I could hear the phone ringing in my ear. A girl answered "Summers residence". This was it.

- Faith please.

A moment later I could hear whoever answered yell in a typical "it's not for me so I don't care» teenage way.

- Faith phone!

I can see the scene in my mind, everyone frozen in place. Who could be calling, asking for Faith when she's supposed to be in prison? If the caller is more informed and knows that she has escaped why would they be calling her here of all places. This is no logical hiding place for Faith. She has to know who is on the other end of the line.

- B.

- Faith. I want you to listen to me for two minutes, now on the phone and then do whatever you want, just don't hang up, please. Will you do that?

I wait for her answer.

- Listen I can do. Shoot.

- I have something to give you, that you really need to have it for the coming battle. I also have some knowledge about the big showdown that I need to share.

- I don't know B. With the First messing everyone up, maybe it's not such a good idea to meet up.

- Then ask Giles to come with, you won't be alone. I'm on the other side of the street, on the porch of the green house. You can see me if you look through the window of the front door. I'm with Spike and Angel but we'll meet alone if you like. I just want to talk.

- Gimme a sec.

I can hear the phone being muffled, some voices not loud enough to be recognised. It goes on for a couple of minutes then Faith comes back on the line.

- Okay, we'll meet. Yyou and me first, like you said. I'll meet you halfway down the street.

- Thank you Faith, I appreciate.

Angel is taping me on the shoulder, making signs.

- Don't hang up Faith, Angel wants to talk to you.

I handed the phone back to Angel with a warning. Don't mess it up.

I had made an opening. I let got the breath I didn't know I was holding. Spike came to me, laid a soothing hand on my shoulder. His smile was enough to give me back my strength and resolution.

Angel was still on the phone with Faith. I hadn't realised that they had kept in contact even after she had escaped from jail. I take the time to really look at him, just talking on the phone, interacting with someone. LA had been good to him, he was surer of himself and was showing a new range of emotions outside brooding. He had come out of his shell. He even smiled and sometimes laughed. The first time I heard it I was so shocked, I couldn't remember him laughing when we were together. It suited him, giving him a lighter side.

Angel turned to us, he was putting the cell phone back into his jacket.

- She's coming out now. She said that we could all meet in front of the house.

I nodded. I was never that hyped, not even before a fight. I knew everything was still in balance but since I had made my decision, everything was simpler in my mind. Faith stood in the open doorway, weighting us. I took the occasion to get a good look at her. Angel had told me that she had seemed tired and maybe a little down on the phone. She was looking older, well I guess we all did. This new experience has made us grow a little faster.

She smiled a little at me, nodded her head to Angel and ignored Spike who had stayed a little behind us. From up close she looked like she didn't get much sleep last night.

- Everything okay Faith? You seem a little drawn?

- Yeah well we suffered some lost last night when we attacked the high school. They had booby trapped the place. A couple of the girls got killed when the bomb exploded.

- Oh my god, I'm so sorry Faith, how are the others holding up?

- Been better.

She let out a sigh.

- We always fight bare, us slayers. We never carry firearms, it's not natural. We never have to face arsonists and mad bombers, that's for the FBI, not the chosen two. This fight doesn't make sense to me anymore.

She was almost crying. I could understand what got her. We might be fighting evil day in day out but they generally have a code of honour. Any fool could get a bazooka and shoot at a crowd. Demons don't, they don't shoot you in the back if you didn't see it. This bomb thing? It's just, I don't know, too human for the First.

- Yeah, I'm with you on that, nothing good comes out of modern weaponry. I might have some good new for you though. I went on a little crusade last night. Bagged myself a priest and brought some little things for you from the gift shop. First, Angel is here to help you. He's on a mission from God or a reasonable Blues brother equivalent. He even has a real flashy necklace thingy that's supposed to help him in the fight. So a brand new old warrior for the white hats' team. But I got something even better for you Faith. I could try and explain it to you but it would be simpler for you to touch it. It sounds a little kinky and a lot more evil than it is. I'd like to bring it here first, than you can have Giles or Willow to take a look at it. But you'll probably be the only one to sense its power. It's a weapon made for the slayer. When you hold it, you can feel its power reaching inside you to strengthen the attack. Wanna see?

I could see that she didn't trust me yet but who could resist the attraction of a new toy? She took her time to think about it. She finally nodded.

- Yeah okay B, show me this _fabulous_ (air quotes) weapon of yours.

I flashed her my brightest smile. I turned and made a sign to Spike. He brought out the battle axe. I took it, feeling the tingles rising in my arms. I hadn't lied. When I held this beautiful thing I could sense my energy being united and merged inside the weapon. I became the weapon, the true slayer. This was made for us, to be used by us. Faith was smiling like a kid in a candy shop.

- Wow, shiny.

I handed her the weapon. She looked up at me, still not sure about what to think of me. She held her hand out tentatively at first, then with a little more conviction. Her smile became even bigger.

- Where did you find it? Do you know what it is?

- I'm not sure what exactly it is, but you know whom it's for. I found it in the vineyard. This is what Caleb was so adamantly defending in there. The Harbingers were trying to pull it out of its resting place, inside this huge boulder. I fought Caleb a little and then feinted to grasp it behind his back. And you know what? Didn't even brake a sweat to pull it out of the rock, it almost jumped in my hand. This is what was written about in that monastery that Andrew and Spike checked out.

- What happened to Caleb?

- What can I say? This new shiny thing slices, dices and makes preacher julienne. I split him in half the hard way, bottom to top. It has real power this weapon, clean power. Spike and Angel couldn't feel it, maybe Willow and Giles might be able to sense it but the girls aren't there yet. We do, sister, this is our inheritance. Oh, I also noticed some markings on the handle, you should show it to Giles, and he might be able to tell something about this axe.

As I was saying those things I ran my fingertips over the markings to show them to her. For a couple of seconds our hands were both on the battle axe. There was a great sense of movement and everything went black. I saw flashes of battle, Amanda with the axe holding her head high as she dusted an Übervamp. Some other nameless girl her eyes focussed on the battle ahead of her. I saw Willow holding an unconscious Dawn, laughing and crying at the same time. Angel surrounded by the Turok Ans. A flash of my conversation with Whistler, then the first slayer and Kendra. Tara smiling. I gasped, feeling a great weight finally lifting from me.

- Damn Buffy, what is that thing? Major head rush, it's like a slayer's dream but without the pleasantness of sleep.

- That is the other reason that I am here. I have a message to share with you all sent to us graciously by the PTB, the driving force behind this whole bloody world and then some. I think everyone should hear it, it was meant to be known by all. We have to call a Scooby meeting extraordinaire. Do you think you can arrange things?

- I don't think I have a choice anymore. Give me a couple of minutes, I'll arrange it. Can you land me the axe, I want to show it to Giles.

- It's yours Faith, you don't have to ask.

- I'll be back.


	9. In between days

Ok This was to be the chapter in which I explain a couple of things but everything got out of hand. I still have about 3 chapters to go, most of them already written. Thanks to everyone who reviewed and who read my things even if they don't review, I don't hold grudges.  
To Vanessa, I meant that it was the same Spike who could love Buffy and could torture Angel for the gem. Sorry if it wasn't clear.

This is a war room, outside in the backyard with sun chairs, kitchen chairs and whatnot. The faces are grim; there is open hostility on some of them, embarrassment and some shame but most of all there is confusion.

_What is she doing here?_

_Will she blame us for the fiasco last night?_

_I want to go home, I'm too scared._

I take my time, trying to quell my anxiety. I share a smile with Spike who's standing with Angel, just close enough to me that he can get to me in time if someone wants to do something stupid. I don't know if he does it consciously or not, I still find it reassuring. I take the time to truly look at the potentials before me. What I'm about to do will change their lives forever, am I ready for the enormity of that responsibility? Am I ready to accept their death if they are to fight for our survival? Yes. I am ready to give them a chance to fight for their life, to be what they want to be.

Faith comes to stand besides me. She looks at me, appraising me still. She knows I have something important to say she's just not sure if it's something that she truly wants to hear. We share a small smile, sister to sister. Fight all we might, we're more joined than ever. She might be my Darth Maul to my Obi Wan but she's still imbued with the Force. And God I've spent too much time with Xander and Andrew.

The Scoobies huddle together on the other side, not sure of the attitude they should adopt. I look at my friends, sitting in a seemingly relaxed matter. I just know them too well to believe that they are anywhere near relaxed. Giles is analysing everything, trying to extract something out of what is going on around him. He's thinking about the axe, I bet. Has he ever heard of it? Did he hide the knowledge from me all of these years or was it a kind of Holy Grail for the slayer? There might be some traces of shame at having helped them kicking me out of the house though the Watcher in him would never confess to it. The greater good of things, this was the mission statement of the Council. Haven't we learned anything yet? Often time the salvation of the world comes from the smallest thing, like yellow crayons.

There is Willow, with the Scoobies, without Kennedy. Is there trouble in paradise? Do I care? I never liked her and can't fake my way around it. Willow needs to stand on her own, not to be pulled and pushed this way and that. And she is one pushy bitch, isn't she? Willow is stronger than that, she can stand alone. To have been where she was and to come back to tell the tale is amazing. It took me some time to get close to her again though. I've always been her friend, I just couldn't forgive myself for having been so deep into myself that I almost lost her to the darkest of magik. She's a reminder of what is at stake in all of this if I ever need one.

I saw Dawn grow up a lot in the last weeks, not that she was acting like a kid before, not all of the time anyway. I don't know exactly when but I think she was one of the first to really grasp the extent of this battle. I know at first when the girls started to arrive that she was all over them like this was a great slumber party at her house. Then she was slowly pushed aside from the main events, there for the running of the day to day maintenance, the normal chores or maybe the more boring research gigs. It wasn't a big party anymore. Something happened around the time that Amanda came into the group that turned her around. Maybe it was because she was there when the Bringers came for Amanda, I don't know. I just get the feeling that now she has dedicated herself wholly for the first time to our cause. She'll even get to play a part in it now, I wonder what she'll think of that.

I had to finish the tour with Xander, who for all his pigheadedness is closer to my heart than even Willow ever was. He was the first to notice me in the group, he started the Scoobies. I owe him my life strictly and figuratively speaking, it's also because of him that I sent Angel in Hell. He was important enough that Caleb went for him personally. He's the human factor, he's HumanX. I hope just hope he knows how much I love my big brother. It might not be the kind of love that he once had hoped for but I think it's a more profound sentiment had it been any other way.

I could still be holding grudges but this is all bigger than every one of us. If they hadn't thrown me out we wouldn't be here right now and we would end up loosing everything.

Hey, look at me, I think I finally grew up.

I'm no good at waiting games, I'm a man of action. Also I have no patience what so ever. So all this waiting is making me want to crawl out of my skin. I can't even smoke with all the girls around me, their life is already in danger, no need to add cancer to the mix. Let's get this show on the road already. I know something big is going on, Buffy looks about as nervous as I am and I haven't seen that very often.

I'm still reeling from everything she said to me, still can't believe that she loves me. I just can't wait to have her all by myself if only for a moment.

Damn! She chose me over Angel, yes! Sorry, I just have to keep repeating this to myself until I really believe it.

She's looking at all of them, taking her time to memorise each and every one of them.

Faith is stepping up to speak. The meeting begins at last.

- Ok people, sit down and be quiet. We have some serious things to talk about.

- What is she doing here, with two pet vampires this time? Does she think she can scare her way back into the group?

I couldn't really put a face on the voice that spoke up but the idea was from Kennedy, that much was clear from the look Willow shot her. I had to chuckle when I heard Angel growl too low for most of them to hear. He wasn't used to this feminine war psychology. The girl had that part right though, we were definitely her pet vampires, woof woof.

- I'm not asking anyone's opinion right now people, I'm pulling ranks. Buffy came here to talk to us, she has information about the coming battle from the Power That Be. She's even brought us this nice axe. So well take time to hear her out.

- And why should we do that? She just wants to stay in charge and come back into the house and lead us in another deadly wild goose chase.

I don't want that. I'm not coming back, Buffy interjected.

- Well, isn't this just convenient that the PTB, whoever they are, came to you just when you needed it. I imagine you're also the only one who saw that vision.

Faith took back the mike.

- I saw part of the vision myself. And don't you mess with the Power that Be, you wouldn't like what They could do to you. They're the big players for the Good, it's because of them that the slayers were made.

- You can trust her vision, it's the genuine article, and I can vouch for it.

We all started; Whistler had come out of nowhere to put his two cents in the pot. He was still badly clad, with a Hawaiian shirt that he could have borrowed from the whelp.

- Whistler.

Angel had spoken for the first time in the meeting. The small man turned and saluted some of the gang.

- Watcher, Angelface, Spike, Red, Faith, you all know who I am.

He turned to the girls sitting in front of him.

- They can all attest to who I am. Let's say I am a messenger for the Power. I've been here before and I'm here again for the same reason: to help restore the balance between the sides. Normally the First shouldn't have been able to interact directly with anything around it. The First is like a force of Nature: think of the wind, it's really powerful, can destroy about anything yet it's intangible. The First normally acts on people by pressing them to make decisions that they probably wouldn't make by themselves. It would have you taking the wheel when you've drunk too much, something that you wouldn't normally do. Just distorting enough your judgement to make you believe that you are in control of what is going on around you. But what It has done these last weeks is a direct assault on the slayer line, attacking the PTB at the same time. The PTB won't let things go on the way it has been going the last year. They will help you in your battle in as much as They can. They are a force of Good, it wouldn't do for them to bend the laws to their liking.  
The first part of their help is the battleaxe. It is truly more than a simple weapon, as you will learn with Buffy's tale. The battleaxe is the traditional weapon of the slayer, its essence is linked to that of the slayer. They give each other strength when there is need. Not much can withstand the blade, as Caleb found out for himself. And might I add ouch! And bravo for that shot, Buffy.

I can hear the girls murmur.

_What happened? What did she do to him? Is he dead? _

Faith spoke up.

- Yes, Buffy killed Caleb. She sliced him in half and before you say it Nelly Olsen, yes there were witnesses. If everybody's bout of PMS is over, can we ditch the bitching and listen to what B has to say to us? I for one am tired of this loosing battle. If we have something that can tip our hand and maybe give us a chance of winning lets hear it already. Anyone else has something to add do it now and then shut up.

There was some grumbling but that was it. Everyone wanted to hear Buffy's story.


End file.
